Where there is no human connection, there is no compassion.
Without compassion, then community, commitment, loving-kindness,
human understanding and peace all shrivel.
In the next few posts, I invite you to consider with me the various levels on which violence can be addressed. Let’s start with the personal level. No one person can create world peace alone, but what takes place within you can certainly have an impact.
Baba Ram Dass lists sources of internal violence including feeling isolated from others, looking at life from a “me first” perspective, meeting only your own needs and disregarding those of others, having no context for your life or way to judge your thoughts, feelings and actions, having an exaggerated sense of self importance, not appreciating the importance of anyone else’s life and using others only to meet your own needs. All of these traits increase the likelihood of your violence toward others and their violence toward you.
Sebastian Yunger suggests basic human needs which, when met, reduce the inclination toward violence toward yourself or toward others. They include:
- Feeling competent means you feel able to accomplish things in your life.
- Feeling authentic or autonomous means seeing yourself as being taken seriously and as a valuable person.
- Feeling connected to others means being able to interact with others on a level where your lives are both valuable.
So how do you eliminate sources of internal violence and realize these basic human needs in your life? You could start by rating yourself on the destructive and constructive traits. Then you well have a better sense of where you need to refine your view of yourself.
You might also look at where your traits came from. What did your parents teach you about your selfworth? What did they teach you about the value of other people compared to you? What have you learned about yourself and others from your own experience?
Have your upbringing and personal experience left you feeling at peace with yourself and with others. If so, count yourself fortunate. If not, how did your negative traits arise? Do you blame someone for your misfortune? Can you balance your misfortune with positive aspects of your life? How can you start to think in a different way about yourself and other you encounter along your life path? What can you change about you thinking, feelings and actions to help you feel more at peace with yourself and with others?
- If you find yourself in the grip of the negative traits mentioned above, what can you change about your life to help you develop new traits?
- Who can help you change the direction of your inner life?
- If your basic needs are being met, concentrate on helping others meet their needs.
- If not, what would it take to help you feel better about yourself?
- How can you accomplish these goals without hurting others in the process?
These and related ideas are treated more fully in my book, From Violence to Peace, available from Amazon. For a free sample, follow the link and choose Look Inside.